I understand the difficulty of depression because I’ve experienced it.
I think that only people who have experienced depression can understand it. At one point in my life, I recalled an 80-year-old woman who’d said sadly, “I’d rather have broken bones in my arms and legs than depression,” and I really understood her. She’d suffered from depression for a half of her life.
When I was depressed it was painful just to be alive. Nobody wants to become a depressive. It is often said that people who get depressed are weak and lazy. People who around me didn’t understand me, and this hurt me even more.
I didn’t see the value of my existences or the meaning of my life. I was so hopeless that I thought the painful days would continue forever. I tried to jump off from a 10th floor veranda, but I wasn’t able to do it and I criticized myself for not being able to die. As for family, I felt that I was giving my husband and my daughter trouble. It seemed that I was wandering about in a dark, long and thorny tunnel.
I’ve giving lectures in a training course for psychological counselors . Some of the students are fighting against depression. One day I was talking with one of the students and began to feel that he was really admirable. He’d recovered and was markedly differed from before.
When I first met him, his eyes were lifeless and he appeared to have no self-confident at all. Now four months have passed, and his eyes and way of speaking are full of life. He also smiles nicely.
People become different in their countenances, expressions, and carriages, when their mental condition improves. The charm and appeal that they have by nature are released from inside of them. My friends and my neighbors now say to me,” Kanako, you look totally different. You’re full of life.”
Excited every day
When I wake up in the morning, I think about what I’m going to do that day. It’ exciting! I spend every day looking for a small fun things to do and say to myself things like, “I’ll get together with a friend”, “I ‘ll eat ramen after work” or “I’ll watch a DVD while drinking beer tonight”.
By adding a little changes to daily life, you might be able to activate your brain and find something new.
Controlling your own mind
It’s been a year and 10 months since I became a counselor. During that period I’ve had three mentally tough times. The last one was quite serious.
However, in these situations I tried as much as possible to use what I’d learned at the Shiina Stress-Care Institute, and I did things that were unusual for me. For example, I put on my sneakers and went to parks and temples and I had lunch with a person whose character was completely opposite mine. Without even noticing it. I recovered my spirits.
Theses experiences gave me a lot of confidence. If you are depressed, I want to tell you that you’ll be okay. Even if you become depressed again, you’ll gradually get control of yourself.